So people always ask me stuff like what do I do in my free time? To which I usually start laughing and/or crying because mothers of kids with cancer just don't have much free time. I have learned to accept this, and I usually devote my "free time" to doing something that will make one or all of my kids happy. This stems from my perpetual guilt because mothers (who invented guilt) have found more ways to punish themselves than any other species on earth. It is fine and I accept that this is my path now and for the next two years. I do sometimes daydream about what life will be like when this is all behind us. We will all be stronger, wiser, more grateful, and will focus more on what is important in life. I have even heard some people go as far as saying cancer is a gift....because it takes something like it to open people's eyes in the world. Mostly I daydream about the possibility of watching something on TV or reading a book or some other normalcy.
I am, however, reading a book that another "leukemia" Mom gave me. When I read now, it is normally in the form of some sort of research on medications, etc...something that will provide me some knowledge on how to get my family through this disaster and land on our own two feet. The book is by Erma Bombeck, who was actually from Dayton, and is called "I want to grow hair, I want to grow up, I want to go to Boise...Children Surviving Cancer" And I have found that there is some humor in a serious topic like Cancer, albeit just a little. But we can't just sit and cry all the time, so we might as well laugh at some of it. Right? Hey, that sounded like Jerad, didn't it? Anyway, there is an excerpt in the book that I will share today and cheat on my blog while someone else does the writing. Mostly, again, because I want to remember it...I will paraphrase a bit.
What's a Mother For?
Wanted: Woman to raise, educate, and entertain child for minimum of twenty years. Be prepared to eat egg if the yolk breaks, receive anything in hand that child spits out, and take knots out of wet shoestrings with teeth. Seven days a week, twenty-four hours a day, including holidays.
If the job description included mothers of kids with cancer you would have to add: An additional forty hours a week set aside for reading magazines in doctor's waiting room, chauffeuring child to and from treatments and therapy, standing in line to get prescriptions filled, and running errands. Sustaining guilt for not giving enough to other members of the family. Major worrying twenty-four hours a day. Must possess maturity to realize that you can't "Kiss cancer and make it well"
I just thought this was very telling and also funny in its own way. So I shared it. I do think that once we get through with this Light the Night Walk, I am going to have more time on my hands. I didn't know it was going to take so much time to be the team captain, but it is all worth it because I believe we are going to raise $30,000! I originally thought we could raise about $3,000 and now we have done 10 times that. And it is not because of anything I have done, it is because of all of you stepping up to the plate and helping out.
The forecast for Thursday is looking good. I am getting nervous about it but can't wait to see everybody. The kids are counting the hours....it is all we have talked about around here for months! See you there. Also praying that Ally stays well and no fevers or anything develop. As it stands now, she is due back into the hospital Friday morning, but Thursday is still free....
Thanks to all.